Monday, May 30, 2011

"I went into the jungle when I was 17..."

Arrived in Corpus Christi yesterday morning. Slept for a very long time, until my dearest darlingest sister decided it was a good idea to pour ice water on my head because she wanted someone to play chess with.

With friends (a sibling?) like these, who needs enemies?

I haven't seen the Slender Man lately, not since I left, that is... I was driving down the 101 pretty early on in my trip when I noticed it was getting a little foggy. Weird for almost June. I saw him there. In the middle of the road. It was really early in the morning and there weren't any other cars around...

I don't remember what happened next. When the blackout ended, I was on the 5 and an hour had gone by.

Fuck you, Slendy.

As for how I managed to be commenting on and reading other blogs while I was on the road, I made quite a few pit stops to get coffee. Sleeping is for squares, and I didn't want to wake up to a tap tap tapping on my window. Or wake up to a certain ex-sage trying to carve my bones out of my body. I know he's in Virginia (er, right?), but still. There's plenty of Zero wannabes out there.

Anyway, I have a chess game to win. I'll try to keep you guys updated, although I really hope there's nothing to update you guys on.


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Viva la vida

I'm alive.

I couldn't kill myself, anyway. I spent about half an hour attempting to come up with a good way that wouldn't be too painful, until I remembered that you can't overdose on aspirin. I own a gun, but it's at my parents' house. A couple states away. Whoops.

Anyway, when I finally did come up with a good way, I couldn't do it. It wasn't slendermagic, I just... Couldn't do it. Too afraid, I guess. So I moped and sulked for a bit and wallowed in my depression, and got up to check my emails, figuring that if I couldn't even kill myself I might as well see what was going on.

And there were comments. And they actually made me feel a bit better. So, thanks guys. Thank you so much. It's nice knowing someone out there isn't trying to kill you.

So now I'm at Starbucks on the way to Corpus Christi to see my parents. If any of you proxy fuckers feel like waiting for me there, prepare to get run over at 90 mph. If I can't live for myself, then I'm going to live for everyone who has died so far, and if you want to try amd change that, well you can go fuck yourself with something sharp and sandpapery.


Sunday, May 22, 2011

Tragedy tomorrow; comedy tonight!

Because it's not a slenderblog until I reference Broadway.

If by comedy one means it in the same way Franz Kafka meant it, then yes. Last night was definitely a comedy. You see, I walked into my friend's house and he had turned into a giant bug.

...No, I'm kidding. I wish that had happened. See, now I'm acting just like everyone else. Joking, trying tryin trying to get my mind off of this. Fuck. Fuck fuckf uck my life

I might as well give you guys the real story...

So I go over there, like the victim of a horror film (because that's what this is of course, a fucking snuff film and you're all only reading for your twisted entertainment) who is about to get brutally raped and killed by the scary guy with a chainsaw. that obviously didn't happen, as I am typing this up instead of the messenger guy.

He greets me. Amiable. Sane. Did you know batshit people are good actors when they want to be? Except there's always something off and there was this time for sure. Of course like the fucking genius I am I figure it's because he's a fucking Slender Man victim so of course he isn't gonna be all there. We sit down on the couch by a window (what the hell was I thinking) and I ask him what's up and I spy with my little eye an operator symbol hastily drawn on a piece of paper.

The situation is getting creepier and creepier by the second, and my friend begins coughing. I wanted to disappear right then and I wished I'd never ever gone... Fuck, why am I even writing this down? Maybe it's because they say it's better to just get it alll out... I don't even fucking know any more.

He looked behind me at something (outside the window, I imagine) for a second and I didn't fucking dare turn around because fuck if I'm gonna play Slender Man's little game, then grabs a fucking knife from behind a pillow and pounces on me like he's Zero and trying to get my bones to give to some bleeding tree or something and I dont even know...

Well that working out I've been doing paid off along with those akido classes I took as an undergrad student and I managed to get the knife away from him. I pushed him the fuck off of me and of course he tried to attack me again so I pushed him again one more time and tried to get the fuck out of there.

as I did I heard him say:

"You bitch! It's your fault everyone is dead!"

and he's right. it is my fault. It's my fucking fault that everyone is dead. I just killed my friends without even realizing it. Fuck. fuck fuck fuck. dammit. i should just go kill myself. maurice mentioned it one of my older posts and what the hell why not. I'm just a danger staying alive and everyone who is close to be could die ebcause of me...

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate

If you're reading this, congratulations. You have survived the Rapture.

Well, you know how I mentioned things have been getting really weird here lately, and also mentioned my friends acting weird in that post blogger deleted? I wasn't making that up.

Friend 1 didn't show up to one of our finals, which worried me. She'd been acting paranoid lately and scribbling in a journal a lot. Police found her body swinging from a doorway and they found trash bags and...and you all know where this is going don't you. Organs. Blood organs everything all stuffed into those garbage bags like trash trash trash. Her funeral is tomorrow and I can tell you this much it isn't going to be open-casket.

I won't be going.

Friend 2 has disappeared. Just... Disappeared. Won't answer the phone, emails, Facebook messages, anything... I filed a missing persons report but if Arkady's darling Javert is any idication Slender Man has control over the police force which means... Well, it means it might be better if my friend isn't found, if he's still alive.

Friend 3 has just been acting weird lately  of coruse like everyone else every other fucking victim of Slender man. Ivnited me over tonight, he sounded panicked over the phone, like he had to tell me something super important... Actually, I think he said that, verbatim.

So, I'm going over in a few hours. I hope when I get there I won't find his bloody corpse on the ground organs stuffed into bags like trash.

three people. Three. I've killed three people without even realizing it at the time. How many more, how many innocent people are reading this blog thinking, oh it's fiction! How many of them are going to look outside the window one day or go for a nature walk one day and see him standing there staring at them?

Hah. Maybe I should change my blog description. Maybe the first line of Commedia isn't good enough. Maybe I need something different.

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."

...I'm still sane enough to realize how cheesy that is, though. Don't worry.


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A quick update

Well, finals ended last week. Sorry I haven't posted in a few days (I really did mean this to be regularly posted in, I swear!); things have been getting creepy around here and I'm kind of freaking out but trying not to because I reeeally don't want to go crazy and end up like Zero or Jekyll or Josh or any other infamous people.

Summer at my parents' house is sounding like a better and better idea by the second. besides, I haven't seen my sister in a while.

I'll probably post in a few days with what's going on. Probably when I figure out what's going on.

Also, blogger still hasn't replaced my post yet. I know there's a lot that they had to delete, but it might've had some useful info for someone out there...


Saturday, May 14, 2011

Our enemy is very influential

I made a post on Wednesday, but it seems to have gotten deleted when blogger went down on Thursday. It hasn't come back up yet. It was about Slender Man and how the revenants and hallowed refer to him. Coincidence? Maybe, but it still worries me...

So I'll wait for blogger to put it back up again. Hopefully they will. I don't really want to type all of that up again...

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Ah hell, I'm retyping this to the best of my ability. Blogger hasn't put it back up yet as of 5/26/2011, so to hell with it.

"No, I haven't gone crazy, not yet. It's a bible quote, Exodus (3:14).

Today, children, we're going to talk about why you shouldn't call the Slender Man "he that is"!

So, if you've ever argued theology with a Jew, then you know that Jews don't really tend to say the word "G-d". It's usually HaShem or in prayer, Adonai. This is because orthodox Jew follow the ten commandments to the letter. The first commandment is "do not take the lord's name in vain", so they don't tend to use his name in everyday conversation.

The most "srs bznz" name for G-d in the bible is YHVH (יהוה), aka the tetragrammation. Ah, them Hebrews and their hate of vowels. Anyway, you do not say the tetragrammation out loud. This is serious business, folks. Of course, plenty of gentiles do, but they're not bound by the rules of the Old Testament anyway. The pronunciations of YHVH? Jehova and Yahweh are the most common ones I know of.

So, now for the meaning of YHVH. YHVH is considered by most people to be based off of the verb "to be", with the Y in front making it masculine (so, sorry theorists, Abrahamic G-d ain't a woman). So basically? The translation is "he that is".


tl;dr: Proxies are calling the Slender Man the Abrahamic G-d when they call him "he that is". Don't call the Slender Man "he that is" unless you worship him like a god. In which case, you belong in a room with padded walls.


P.S. I've noticed that some people around me are acting weird...People who would have read my blog. Am I a murder? I didn't mean to do anything to hurt them oh god how many people have I killed...?"

And there you have it, folks. My YHVH rant. I realized this later on, but you'll also note that proxies tend to capitalize the h in "him" when talking about the Slender Man. Like how people do that for HaShem. Coincidence? Doubtful.


Monday, May 9, 2011

Call me Ishmael

I really should give you all an introduction and an explanation. Isn't that how all the slenderblogs go? Some first message, and then an introduction some amount of time later.

Oh dear. I'm falling into a cliche, aren't I. I'll have to break that soon.

In any case: For obvious reasons, I won't be telling you my name. Just call me Dante. The Divine Comedy was a good fanfic, after all. I'm a grad student at some northern California university, and I study some kind of physics. That's all the personal information you need to know.

I found Marble Hornets about three weeks ago and about a week ago, I met him. I was stupidly running through the woods, my morning run (what the hell was I thinking) and there was fog, fog everywhere and had I actually thought about it then I would have wondered what fog was doing there in May but of course hindsight is 20/20.

I hadn't run that fast until that day.

Ever since then, things have been getting weird. Sometimes I see him, other times I think I see him but I don't know if I do maybe it's just a trick of the light? I'm scared. Really scared. I thought of using the Operator symbol to make him go away but I know that it could very well just call him to me and I really really don't want that. I did, however, begin making an hourly journal, like the one Jekyll had. I know Jekyll went crazy and died but at least it gave him a rough estimate of when he wasn't himself.

So, here's a toast to survival, even though none of us will survive.


P.S. It appears I'm being followed by a certain... Executor. Hey man, did you know that it should be Executioner? Why do proxies have such a bad grasp on the English language? It's pathetic, really.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Blessed are the meek

One upon a time, I had another blog. I posted funny videos, cool webcomics, interesting quotes.

It's deleted now.

I made a mistake. A big one. One that I'm never ever ever ever going to make again. I posted a link to a Youtube channel I thought was creepy-cool. Marble Hornets. If you've never heard of that series, then close this tab on your browser and live a nice life. I envy you, I really do.

If you have heard of Marble Hornets, then you know exactly why I'm blogging here today. I'll be updating this regularly, hopefully.