Friday, July 22, 2011

Wedding Bells on an April Morn

I... I don't understand it. Is there something wrong with me? Is there something that causes me to be so messed up and hurt and depressed and suicidal whenever proxies or Slender Man do something drastic? How am I the only one to suffer loved ones dying, to carry the burden of the murder of innocents?

The Wedding, but it's not just the Wedding. It's everything. I read all these fucking blogs and posts about how the runner got away perfectly unharmed and how they suffered few casualties and how they're perfectly fine and ready to continue fighting the good fight... And I wonder how they can do that. Are they lucky? It seems that way.

I would kill to be that lucky. And acknowledging that makes it all worse.

It's just... Why should they be able to get away perfectly fine and sane and unharmed and alright and I can't? Is there something wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong? Am I just that pathetic of a person that I can barely survive as a runner? It seems to be so... I just wish I knew how to survive.

I was afraid of Morningstar. I... I thought everyone else was too, when they actually met him with his personal army with him. I know people say it's okay to be scared and normal and I shouldn't be ashamed, but... If no one else is as afraid as me, then what does that say?

You all have no idea how good you have it.

Speaking of the murder of innocents. Got a knock on the door today from the politsia. The same ones. A man and a woman. Said witnesses had seen me near the apartment building that had been... The one that Morningstar had chased me into and done that thing in. Caught their names, although in honour to the dead I'll give literary pseudonyms. Morgan and Murphy. Not quite Les Miserables, but Butcher is still a good author.

Police questioning is always fun. I just said I'd been walking to the grocery store and walked back, and I had passed by the apartment minutes before the... The massacre happened.

They're proxies. I'm sure of it. I can't prove it, but I know they are. I just know.



  1. We don't all come out unscathed, Dante.

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  3. Dante, at the wedding, we were lucky, we had Marines and we had a good few of us stalked who knew how to fight. All of us have had times where we've been not so lucky and had bad things happen. You are not the only one to have lost family, nor are you the only one who has had to deal with murder, I know that first hand.

    And to be honest, this whole situation terrifies me. I just try and focus on the positives, like the fact I'm still alive. You're not the only one scared. If you want to chat, my email's on my profile.


  4. Lucas, I sent you an email.

  5. Dante

    not all police are on his side

    that sounds more like guilt to me

  6. Guilt? What do /you/ know about guilt?